female power lifter preparing to lift

Looks Follow Fitness, Fitness Follows Lifestyle

Dan Sullivan

Dan Sullivan

How do make my body look better? I’m sure you’ve asked this question of yourself at some point in your life. And as I stated in my newsletter this past week (Habit Of the Week, sign up on the subscribe page), wanting to look good is not a bad thing.

What is a bad thing is making it your primary goal. Fitness is not a road, it is a way of life. More than that, it is a way of life that will kick you out of your comfort zone like a landlord named Chuck Norris if you don’t show it some respect.

You need to stay motivated and keep your “why” in mind on your fitness journey. To do this, you need solid goals that will keep you focused on taking your next step and not how long the road seems to be.

This week, we’re doing something a little different. I’ve been working hard on making some changes to this blog which will begin rolling out in June. Because of this, I didn’t have much time to get a coherent thought written down on my computer screen (this post is already a day late).

Therefore, I asked my lovely bride, Mi, if she wanted to write a guest post this week and she stepped up to the plate like Guy Fieri ready to demolish a 2lb cheesesteak. She wrote a great short article about a part of her fitness journey and the shitty goals she had to overcome.

Overcoming Shitty Goals

What is it about human beings that they always chase after things that don’t bring them happiness?

We work at jobs we don’t like to live a life we don’t enjoy. We dress and talk like some celebrities after shaming them for what they do. From these things, we set unrealistic goals.

No wonder why nobody is happy.

I often think if we spent just as much time trying to understand ourselves as we chase after fantasies, we would be so much happier doing things we enjoy and appreciate. Setting your fitness goals is an exercise in self-understanding.

Growing up Asian, if you’re not size 0 and weigh about 95lbs, you have the lowest chance to ever get married. Well, I weigh about 135lbs, wear a size 6 and am happily married so I can call that B.S. 

However, for the longest time because of this notion, I hated myself. I would starve myself just to lose a few pounds. I went on many different kinds of diets just to bounce back few weeks later. At one point, I even went so far to take weight loss pills to shit out the fat, literally. And for some reason, I still ended up at 130lbs and felt like the shit that I was forcing myself to take.

“Why?” I often asked myself. Is it because I lack discipline? Genetics? Is it because I’d rather eat 10 cookies than run for 10 minutes?

No, it was because I had shitty goals. You see, my goal was to look like a Barbie doll when I am 5’2” and a mesomorph, so I already set myself up for failure. Even in the rare chance that I lost weight; I still wasn’t happy.

There was no end to my goals. It’s like wishing to have more money. How much money is “more” money? What is enough to make you happy? How do I have to look to be happy? I certainly didn’t know.

Then, I heard from one of my mentors that if you want to stick to something, make it your lifestyle. I took her advice, made fitness a lifestyle, and tried to work out more often for fun. When I did this, I learned he was right. You wouldn’t forget to eat or poop because it has become a lifestyle.

I also learned that my body type is much more suitable to do weightlifting and I would enjoy it more. So, I tried it… and I loved it. I love to be able to clean a bunch of weight, and I also love that with regular workout, I have more energy throughout the day.

You know what else I love about turning fitness into my lifestyle? I look fucking good! I might not be size 0 or weigh 95lbs, but I have ass, and it’s a nice one (edit from husband: I agree, nice ass). Clothes also fit me better and I don’t feel like I need 10 cookies because I starve myself the day before.

So, what I learned was that if you want to look good, you have to be good. In other words, you need to commit yourself to the fitness lifestyle. Focus on that, make it enjoyable, and that sexy body will be sure to follow. It may not be exactly what you think you want, but it WILL be the best version of you.

Take Aways

  • Spend time researching what works and doesn’t work for your body type. Not all training is created equally
  • Find things you enjoy doing and you’ll most likely do it more often
  • Recognize the results that you work hard for and don’t compare yourself to somebody else who didn’t do what you did
  • Exercise should be a celebration of what you can do, not a punishment for what you eat

Photo by Alora Griffiths

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